#celebratelu

It's been such a lovely week at the lake. The weather, for the most part, has been lovely. Chloe and I have been able to be outside, playing and taking lots of walks. If I'm not playing with Chloe, then I can sit outside, read and stare at the lake.

There have been afternoon naps, golf with friends, lunch with friends, dinner with friends.

You're getting the theme here, right?

My husband got back to the lake yesterday and got to join in the fun. While being alone is nice sometimes, I'm glad he's back. Things are just more fun with him around. After a busy week at work, he's more than ready for some lake fun.

I'm looking forward to heading home for a few days though. I've got some friends to check in with back there!

#sol18 You Know That Feeling...

You know that feeling you get some time on Monday?

"I don't have anything to slice about!"

I looked at my notebook page for today, saw the Slice of Life prompt, and had no ideas.
Nada. Zip. Nothing.
And now that I've retired, I don't even have classroom antics to write about.

Those old doubts started creeping in.

"Who wants to read about my life?"

And then I looked at the new notebooks I bought on Saturday during an impromptu shopping trip with Greg.

"I write about these! Who doesn't like new notebook stories?"

I made notes about the day and was ready to write.

Tweet from a teacher at my school

I started reading other slices this morning like I always do. Reading what other people write gives me a little morning motivation. I read Michelle's post about her morning attendance taking and got caught up in her question of the day about cookies!  And I thought about Danny, our custodian who brings warm cookies once a month. That would make a great slice!


Then I started reading through other entries in my notebook. I write every day, I just don't turn everything into a blog post. There are plenty of ideas there just waiting for me to choose them!

And, then, there's my writing quote for the day:

I guess I did. Surprise myself, that is.

SOLSC 18 is coming up quick! This is a reminder post (mostly for me) that writing is everywhere. And the more I write, the more ideas I find.

#DWHabit . REASON

Today's word is perfect.

Reason.

I cruised through the first 10 days of January, writing daily in my notebook AND writing a blog post. Sometimes they were the same thing. Other times, they were very different. But the important thing was, I was writing again.

I had promised myself a little reward at the end of the month if I succeeded in writing every day (a new notebook!).

And then the flu hit.

I scribbled a few lines in my notebook last Wednesday, just enough to say I wrote. I skipped the blog post. Thursday I was so sick I didn't even shower, let alone write. The following days are a blur. Bed to couch. Aching. Feverish. Cough and sore throat. And to top it off, my husband had all this at the same time.  I knew he was really sick when he didn't go into work last week (he always goes to work!), nor did he run the snow blower when it snowed on Thursday (almost as shocking as not going into work).

We made it through on canned chicken noodle soup a couple of days and easy to throw together meals in electric fry pan. Toast and hard boiled eggs became gourmet meals.

Throughout this, it was simply too hard to write. A pounding head and burning eyes do not lend themselves to writing of any kind. I had to give myself permission to not write. I couldn't worry about it. I couldn't worry if others thought I was quitting again. I just had to sink into my blanket cocoon and take care of myself.

But today seems better. The fatigue is still there, but it's manageable. Our appetites are normal again and hubby just headed up to work. Slowly life will get back to normal.

And today I can write again.

Word of the Day: Ignore

I'm really enjoying subbing this winter. It keeps me in the loop at school and in touch with kids. I've also met some new kids that have quickly become favorites. Some of these new kids don't really know me and they don't know how I deal with things. But they are learning. And I'm learning to ignore certain behaviors.

I know that many teachers in our high school are battling cell phones. But it's not a fight I'm going to engage in.  I didn't when I was working full time and I'm really not going to now.  I have found that asking students to put them away or turn them face down when I'm teaching is/was enough. Kids get it if I say I need their undivided attention for a few minutes. When I taught, I did have a basket they could put them in if they thought they would be tempted. Some did for awhile but most handled the cell situation appropriately.

And quite frankly, there are bigger battles to fight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few in first hour today finished their assignment early. And one thing I know about teaching sophomore boys is that free time--any amount of free time--is too much for some.

I know that after today there are a couple of them who think I have super powers because even as I was writing notes for the teacher I could see one of them throw something across the room. Not a behavior I'm going to ignore.

I chuckled.

And then told him to go pick up and throw away whatever it was he threw. He did pick it up, but said it was for his pencil and stuck it in his pocket. I went back to writing my note. It flew again and so did something else.

Time for the teacher evil eye.

Both boys involved looked at each other, looked at me, picked up the pieces and threw them away.

It didn't ignore their behavior, but I didn't overreact either.

Battle won.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The American Lit class is full of great kids, most of whom I've had before. But there is a Payne in the butt. He's a bad boy wanna be. There is no reasoning with him because he's too cool to listen to the teacher. He thinks he's funny, but really, he's just rude and unaccepting.  I can't change his outlook or his behavior--especially in the sporadic days I see him. With him, I have to ignore all but the most disruptive behaviors.

I hate that. 

A Place Called Home

I have loved this house since we sat on the dining room floor in the waning light sunlight of a summer day and it whispered to us.

"Welcome Home."

Wrapping it walls around me like a cozy blanket on a cold winter's morning, it loves me as much as I love it. Every creak is familiar. I can walk through the rooms in the dark and never trip. The doors stick, the steps are too narrow, there's still some walls with 60's paneling, but I love it.

It's showing it's age now in the wrinkles in the walls and the grime that's going to take a lot of elbow grease to clean off the cupboards. But these walls hold lots of memories. Memories that make me laugh and smile, and yes, they also make me cry.

If these walls could talk they would share with you our excitement at owning our own home and the boys reminding us that now we could get a dog. It would tell you about the nights the boys snuck up the stairs and the fights we had as a family.

If these walls could talk, they would tell you about teaching the boys to cook and they'd probably share my dad's secret recipe for french toast. They'd laugh as the told stories about family Christmas's with 37 people in the house.

They'd tell you all about Friday nights with friends and their kids and singing and dancing in the dining room.

If these walls could talk they'd sniffle a little as they describe how lonesome it can be now with only the two of us and Chloe here and share the excitement of new Christmas memories with the grandkids.

If these walls could talk, they'd say,

"Welcome Home"

January Goals

Every year my January goal is to eat less and move more, because, let's face it, the previous two months are killer on being healthy. By January, I need to remind myself to get back to sensible living. Also, it's cold here---really cold. So daily walks outside are not possible. At least not for me!

The eating less/healthy part is easier to get back into. The cookies are gone (thanks to the grandkids), the candy is almost gone. I did hide a few pieces or it would be gone too. But a piece of chocolate a day is mentally healthy, so I'm OK with there being some around. There are now greens and vegetables and fruit in the fridge. My husband is on board with finding some healthy recipes, so we're good there.

It's the moving more that is my downfall in the winter. Being retired means I can sit in my chair with a blanket drinking coffee as long as I want in the morning.  Before I know it, it's 11:00am and I still haven't gotten dressed or moved at all except to get another cup of coffee. 

My plan for moving is getting outside with Chloe for fifteen minutes every day (well, once we don't have dangerous windchills) and playing. We'll walk if it's warm enough. We'll run up and down the stairs if not. I brought our old Wii downstairs and am going to hook it up to our TV. I can get back on the Wii fit program--yoga, running, golf and bowling will get me out of my chair.

My last goal is to WRITE. It's the one thing I felt missing from my life when I retired. I don't know why I quit writing-- I didn't quit breathing just because I retired. Writing is something I have always done. It's part of me. But I just quit--or as Terje says, I paused.  I like that better.

I paused.

But I'm back writing now. Even if it's just a list in my notebook. I'm writing. And I'm going to do it every day.

I Quit. And Then I Started Again.

"I WANT TO WRITE, BUT MORE THAN THAT, I WANT TO BRING OUT ALL KINDS OF THINGS THAT LIE BURIED DEEP IN MY HEART.
~ ANNE FRANK ~

I retired.

I quit writing.

Actually, I quit writing before I retired. I'd think about blog posts. I'd try to get started. But that inner critic kept telling me that others had written it before, my thoughts weren't relevant, I had nothing to add to the conversation. And when I did retire in May, it was easy to tell myself that no one would want to read the thoughts of a teacher no longer in the classroom.

I'm not sure what is motivating me now, but I know I've spent the last couple of months preparing to start again.

• I've started a Pinterest board for Blogging and Journaling.
• I've dabbled a couple of times
• I've pulled out a new notebook
• I've scheduled my writing time in my calendar
• I've removed blank pages from my notebook

Yes. You read that last one correctly. I removed blank pages. Well, maybe remove isn't the right word. You know how we all hate the blank page? Well, I dated a week's worth of pages and wrote a writing prompt on them. That way when I sit down to write in the morning, the page isn't blank and I have a prompt to start from. 

I've found that I tend to list things at first, but when I sit down to really write, I have plenty to say. This post started from a list of all the reasons I wanted to start my blog up again:

• I need to write again
• I think about blog posts all the time--why don't I write them?
• It makes me feel good to write
• I need to write to sort things out
• I miss it
• I miss connecting with my blogging friends
• "Write like it matters and it will." Libba Bray

What I really forgot when I quit was my very first blog post, written on another site, was that I wanted a place for me to write, and Coffee With Chloe is that place.

One Little Word

Each year I wait, and each year it happens. A word comes along that I know will guide me through the coming year. And, usually, it comes through a phrase that I use as a mantra throughout the year.

2013: Nothing Without JOY
2014: Live ALOHA
2015: Life is about BALANCE
2016: Concentrate the mind on the present MOMENT
2017: DISCOVER

I was playing around with words throughout December. Created a Pinterest board. Read quotes I had earlier pinned. No word, no phrase really jumped out at me.

But I was patient.

For a while, I thought my word would be enjoy. But the word never really settled in my soul. I want to enjoy my life now, the people in it, the fun things we are doing. But still, it seemed a little frivolous.

But I was patient and kept looking.

And then this meme came across my Facebook timeline:

And one word jumped out at me:  APPRECIATE

And, as always, I looked up the word:

To recognize worth, to understand situations, to enjoy, give thanks, to acknowledge, to be grateful...

These were things I wanted to bring to my life in 2018.

Oh. And I did find a quote

How Did I Do It?

I look back at old posts and wonder how I did it. How did I have so much to say and where did those words come from?  I wrote about silly, normal days. I wrote about little details in my day. And now, those simple posts seem as if they were written by someone else. And I couldn't possibly write about those things again---could I?

I'm just going to keep writing. Putting words into this blog. Whatever comes to my mind. I told students this often---JUST WRITE. Write whatever's in your head. Even if it sounds stupid. Even if you think no one will like it or read it. Don't worry about word choice, or spelling, or grammar. Get the words down. You can always go back.

So, I'm getting the words down. In desperation.

But.

I know they will come.

Eventually.

Just Write

Write.

Just put some words on to the blank screen.

Write.

Words.

But the words haven't been there.

I really and truly planned on filling up my blog with words about teaching, my students, retirement.

But

The words aren't there. At times, I feel bereft.  Empty.  I don't know who I am.

Oh. I hide it. I laugh. I joke. I play.

But just underneath the surface,

Tears form, unwanted, at the oddest times, and I think of the kids I will miss.

My babies.

25/31 100 Words, 100 Days

I  joined in on #engchat last night because Kelly Gallagher and Penny Kittle were hosting (seriously. I was in teacher of writer's heaven).  It was a great conversation.

There was talk of how teachers share writing. Lots of us write with and in front of our students. There were also a couple of shout outs for Two Writing Teachers!

At one point, Kelly Gallagher asked what percentage of English teachers we thought wrote.

Based on my department of four, I said 25%. Many of the participants guessed lower than I did.

That still shocks me.

At some point, someone said they and their students were doing a 100 words in 100 days challenge.  Kittle liked it. She thought everyone participating in the chat should commit to the challenge.

And, at the end of the chat, Meenoo Rami tweeted

So, of course, with those three supporting it, I committed myself to it. Much easier than NaNoWriMo, which I have failed at each time I've tried.

100 Words, 100 Days.

I can let off fireworks when I'm done!  I don't know if I'll share every day, but I'm going to write every day. 100 words seems doable, don't you think?  

#Write2Connect

Here I sit, wrapped in my cuddly blanket, coffee in hand, Chloe beside me, thinking about writing, thinking about all the ways it appears in my life. It's the National Day on Writing (school edition) and it seems only natural that I write.

I write about my writing periodically.

I've written about what I write and why I write  and again, what I write.

I've written when I don't have anything to write about.

I've written about tough stuff.

At times I've written about the ugly times in a writing class, but usually I write about the fun stuff.

I reflect on what writer's need and more specifically, what boy writer's need.

And sometimes, I let Chloe write.

But as I said in a previous post, "And, now, I'm back. Writing for me. Writing because I can't imagine not writing. Writing about life so the world (well, mostly the grandkids) knows I was here. Writing so others know I cared."  

What has kept me writing this blog is the connections I have made. Wonderful readers who take the time to comment, who take the time to share with me. It's amazing the friends I have throughout the world just because of this little blog. And some, even drive hours to come and visit me (and my classroom). What could have been weird and awkward, wasn't. It felt like meeting with a long lost friend because we knew each other through our blogs.

I don't only connect through the blog. My Facebook feed is slowly turning into more than a game space. Connections I have made through my blog have become friends. Many groups and teachers have pages now where ideas are shared freely. Twitter and several Twitter chats also connect me to other teachers and their amazing ideas. 

In fact, it was through Twitter connections that a new writing project for my students came to be. We are now sharing our blogs with some high school students from two other high schools in other parts of the state. So far, we've read and commented on each others, but I think all the teachers involved have more in mind as we head through the school year. My freshmen also commented on the blogs of some third graders in our district one Monday, just for fun. 

Today, I will plead with my Creative Writing students to tweet out links to their digital storytelling projects. As I watched their videos last night, I laughed and cried and gasped aloud at the amazing things they shared. Some were so personal, I hurt for them. But I also cheered at their amazing spirits and their courage to continue on another day. Some shared stories of family members who impact their daily lives. Love came through those stories. They need to know their stories matter and those stories need to be shared. 

So we will talk about connecting with the world.

Because that's what writing can do. 

Little Bits of JOY

Last week was a tough one in our community. So it's been important for me to find my JOY in the last few days. I need the reminder that life is good.





1. Amidst the tears, there was laughter. Nothing made me feel better than hearing a group of students laughing and crying while sharing memories of friend. I know they were devastated, but it was good to hear them laugh. There was also laughter after school with the little giggles of a colleagues young sons, untouched by the tragedy in the high school. Happy giggles rang out from her room one afternoon after school and it just made me smile.

2. I love my husband for many reasons, but last week it was for his understanding and compassion. From the time the phone call came on Sunday afternoon, he made sure I was OK, whether it was a hug, a shared tear or taking me out to dinner one night, he made sure I was handling the situation.

3. Personal Day. I had requested the day off a couple of weeks ago so that we could open the cabin. I was beginning to wonder if it was worth taking it off. Our cabin is three hours away in they have had A LOT of snow in APRIL. Including last Monday. But the week warmed up and off we went. It was a gorgeous weekend. That itself was worthy of JOY.

4. Once we unloaded the car, I actually took off and went to the local high school. My school and the one in the town where our cabin is at are working on some collaborative projects (and believe it or not, I didn't have anything to do with it). I emailed the teacher I am working with and asked if I could visit her classroom for the afternoon (thanks again Christy for getting me thinking about this.) It was a great afternoon observing someone else and we've made some plans for next school year.

5. Grandkids came to stay Friday night. I received lots of love and hugs from them all weekend. Plus giggles were all around me.

The oldest two decided it must be time to swim, so they of course had to try it. Yes, it was cold, but they are kids after my heart. I did the same thing when I was little. How else do you learn when the lake is too cold?




We did a little golfing, threw a whole lot of rocks in the lake, cuddled, told stories, read books, sang silly songs, visited with friends, played with Chloe and Bella, grilled hot dogs, and fell asleep exhausted each night.

It was a wonderful weekend.

#31 0f 31 Chloe Says Good-bye

Dear Slicers,

I can't believe March is over. It went really fast this year! And, I didn't mind it so much this time 'cuz while Mom was writing, I was having lots of fun.

First of all, I made a new friend this month. His name is Sam and we are penpals!  Our mom's let us write to each other once in awhile.  We both like the snow and playing outside. Sam also likes Legos (I just like to eat them) and is learning about the Titanic.  Mom showed me a video of the Titanic. That was one big boat.

Also this month, I got to see my cousin dogs and their kids a lot. Teddy and Bella came to see me for Mom's birthday. We raced around in the yard a lot. We also played with the kids.

Then last weekend, Mom and Dad went somewhere without me. But it was OK, because I got to go to Teddy's house and see him and his kids again. That's always fun.  

And this weekend we all went to Bella's house to play with her and her kids. Sometimes they left me and Bella home, but that was OK 'cuz we were together and not alone. It was really nice outside, so all of us played outside in the afternoon. I really wish Mom would have let me off my cable to run after the balls and the kites. That would have been fun, but Bella and I just had to sit and watch. I really think I could fly a kite if they just tied it to may tail and let me run!

Last night, they all colored Easter eggs while Bella and I played. They didn't let us color any or even eat them (but that's really OK. They didn't smell that good.)

We're getting ready to go to the lake again. Mom is starting to pack the lake boxes. She says as soon as the snow is gone, we can go.  I hope it's gone soon. I really like to play in it, but I'm getting kind of tired of it and am really ready to go swimming in the lake!

So, anyway. It was a good month. Between Mom and I, we wrote every day (I always have to help a little bit or she'd never write every day). I made a new friend, got to see my cousins, and it's almost time  for the lake!  I'll say good-bye for now from Mom and I.  Come back on Tuesday. One of us will be here!

Love,
Chloe

#29 of 31 Slice of Life Learning

The month of March is always a learning experience for me. There are so many wonderful slicers, plus there is my faithful crew that I bonded with during my first slice of life. These are all amazing, wonderful, creative, teachers. And everyone of them has struggled at times with writing every day JUST LIKE ME.

So here's what I know after my third slice of life:

1. Set aside that time every day to write. My first year I wrote every morning. It was easy, breezy. I had so much to say. Last year I really struggled finding that time.  I just didn't feel it when it came to writing. This year, I changed my time and I wrote at night, after supper. It worked. Writing this year was much more JOYful.

2. Pay attention to your day. Many times, I thought I didn't have anything to write about. But what do you know. Pay attention and all of a sudden there are lots of little things to write about.

3. Pictures help.  If I take pictures during the day, it reminds me what I want to write about.

4. Steal ideas. No one cares. I actually am honored when someone says they are going to use the idea of a post to write their own. So I steal away! This post idea actually comes from Pernille Ripp's post today. A wonderful teacher I follow on Twitter. If you don't follow her, you should!

5. Even a bad post is better than not writing at all. I've had a few of them this month. Some posts I thought, "Wow. Am I really going to hit publish on this?"  But I did. Because everyone has "those" posts.


I'm sure there's more, but I'm sitting at my son's watching basketball and playing with the grandkids, so that's all I'm going to write for tonight. Because there is a number 6:

Stories come from the time we take to breathe.

#27 of 31 Today

Today I was reminded how short life really is,     

            to appreciate my family and friends,

            to make each moment count.

Today I was reminded to be kind, 

           even when I don't feel like it

           because you just never know.

           

Today I was reminded to be patient

           because what's easy to some

           brings others to tears.

Today I was reminded

           while my life isn't perfect 

           and happy all the time

           it is my life and I need enjoy it.

#26 of 31 Never

So yesterday I wrote 10 pieces of advice for bloggers that started with ALWAYS, Of course, that means today, I have to write 10 pieces of advice that start with NEVER.

Hope I make it.

1. NEVER read someone else's blog and think "I can't write that well". You can. You just have to try. use them as a mentor text and copy what they do.

2. NEVER look back at your own writing and think, "What was I thinking writing this piece?" You were thinking you had a story to tell.

3. NEVER let the critic in your head speak louder than your words.

4. NEVER let the people around you be the critic in your head.

5. NEVER throw away a draft of something you've written. It could turn out to be something pretty awesome.

6. NEVER forget your writer's notebook.

7. NEVER think the stories of your life aren't worth telling.

8. NEVER forget to let your dog write for you once in awhile. It's nice to take a break.

9. NEVER rewrite. Revise, yes. Edit, of course. Rewrite means you didn't mean it the first time. ( Does that make sense? I'm gettin' kind of tired)

10. NEVER let "stuff" keep you from writing.

#25 of 31 Always

One of the best things about teaching Creative Writing is that I give them a writing prompt every day to write about. And on days like today, when I'm not sure what to write about, I can rely on the prompt.  Today's prompt was:

"Give 10 useful pieces of advice to a specific group or person. Begin each piece of advice with Always..."

So here it goes. 10 pieces of advice for bloggers with writer's block.....

1. Always have a back up plan. If you don't teach creative writing and have a ready supply of prompts, steal ideas from other bloggers!  Really. They won't mind.

2. Always keep your writer's notebook handy. Jot down bits of your day. You never know what will make a blog post.

3. Always read. Read books. Read blog posts. Read Twitter. Ideas show up in the strangest places.

4. Always search the internet for ideas. There are some great sites out there with amazing prompts (creativewriting-prompts.com).

5. Always listen to music. I don't know what it is about music, but it often gives me great ideas. Write about memories it brings back or how it makes you feel.

6. Always talk to people. Explain what you mean. Explain what you are thinking. Talk about what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what makes you angry. Then write.

7. Always listen to people. They have stories to tell.

8. Always let your dog write if you can't think of anything to say.

9. Always take a walk with your camera. Take pictures and write about them.

10 Always write.

#10 of 31 The Fallback Post

 I knew it would happen. There would come a day I wouldn't have time or imagination to write. I saw this on someone else's blog a while back and wrote it down so I could use it on "one of those days".

Currently...

Listening: The Mentalist is playing on TV, although I haven't paid attention to anything on since I finished watching Once Upon a Time. 

Eating: Nothing yet. But when I am done I'm going to have some white chocolate macadamia nut ice cream

Drinking: water

Wearing: My typical Sunday attire--comfy pj pants, oversized sweatshirt, slipper socks and a blanket

Feeling: Better than I did this morning. The cold and the speech contest hangover seemed to have gone away.

Weather: Well, if it's Sunday, it must be snowing. We have another Winter Storm Warning. An expected 4-8 inches of heavy, wet snow. There is a strong possibility of no school again tomorrow. If so, it will be our SEVENTH snow day.

Wanting: Summer. My grades to be done. That ice cream....

Needing: More time in my day. Trying to keep up with my two writing classes is kicking my butt. And then there are the other five classes....

Thinking: If I don't have school tomorrow I'll be able to get grades done and finish The Diviners by Libba Bray (a seriously good book).

Enjoying: Comments from the judges about my speech kids' performances yesterday.  It was a great day. 18 Division 1 ratings and 7 Division 2's.  Kids were amazing. More on this later.

So, there you are. My fallback post. Feel free to steal use on your own "I don't know what to write" days!

Lost

What can I write about?
What can I write about?
Did my brain turn to mush?
Did all smart thought leave my brain?

I know they're in there.
They were there Sunday during #iaedchat.
People even commented and favorited
Things that I said!
And I had ideas to write about then.

I know there were thoughts in there
Yesterday--an ice day here in Iowa.
I chatted with people on Twitter
Watched the book awards online.
I had things to say about books!

I had things to write about the power of a thank-you.
I had things to write about Chloe.
I had things to write about teaching.
I had things to write about the grandkids.

But they're gone now.

Where'd they go?

All that's left are
Wandering Words
with
No connections
To my life.