Friday, March 2, 2018

{solsc} 2/31 #sol18 When You Anger the Cooking Gods


"I turned the crockpot up to high. The potatoes and carrots were still hard as a rock."

Wait.  What?

It's basketball tournament time and I wanted to watch basketball on TV all afternoon, so I threw a small frozen pork roast in the crockpot, along with the potatoes and carrots, so we'd have dinner with minimal effort.

"It is on high," I yelled back.

"No. It's on low. I thought you must have turned it down."

Crap. This is trouble.

"The roast should be fine. It's just the potatoes and carrots."

Right. We left it going until after the game. I fished the offending potatoes and carrots out of the crockpot, put them in another dish and finished cooking them in the microwave. While they were cooking, I was going to make gravy.

No flour.  REALLY?

OK. Not a big deal.

Get the roast out and begin to cut it. Let's just say, it WAS NOT DONE.

I am 61 years old. I've been cooking for over 50 years. How the h@#* do you mess up a roast in the crockpot?  I will tell you that at the time, I was not seeing the humor in all this. Although I'm pretty sure Greg chuckled every time I walked into the living room.

"We still have leftover chicken from the other night. Let's just eat that and save the roast for tomorrow. I'll finish cooking it then."

Good plan. I get the chicken out and throw it in the microwave.  I'll make some instant mashed potatoes and veggies. We'll be good.

Except. We don't have any instant mashed in the cupboard. The bag I thought was potatoes was a soup mix.

What cooking god have I offended?

OK. We're having french fries. I know we have those. And I steam the veggies in the microwave.

Finally. Dinner.

Thank heavens for leftovers!

12 comments:

  1. At least you have dinner ready for tonight? Sometimes it just doesn't work out in the kitchen. Leftovers saved me last night too, but then I hadn't planned on cooking dinner.

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  2. Ah yes... I love how you describe the minute-by-minute frustrations of the process. So true!

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  3. So many chuckles while reading this post! There are just nights like this when I wonder why I bothered, and I get very frustrated. Next time it happens, I'm going to remember your slice, and chuckle instead.

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  4. I hate deciding what's for dinner ... so an easy meal in the crockpot is good! Except when it goes bad ... thanks for the laughs this morning. You are not alone. But happy to say you don't have to decide on what's for dinner tonight!

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  5. This made me laugh. I have so been there, those days when every plan just falls apart. I also hate deciding what's for dinner. I don't mind cooking it--if someone else could just plan it. (And maybe shop for it too??)

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  6. Good way to learn flexibility and lots of cooking options when needed right?

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  7. I empathize with your cooking frustration. I don't like to cook most of the time, but I do love to eat. At least you were tenacious enough to get dinner on the table. I would have sent Ken to get takeout.

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  8. This is hilarious! I wish I could say that this never happens to me, but you are in good company.

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  9. A great chuckle. Thanks. I have to worry about offending the "chef" not the cooking gods. Thank goodness he isn't easily offended.

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  10. This was awesome! There are times when I am right there with you, sometimes things just don't line up.

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  11. Oh that is so frustrating! I am notorious for turning on the crockpot but NOT plugging it in! Leftovers are lifesavers!

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  12. Hahahaha... I think I would have been ordering pizza by that point! :-) You had me laughing the whole way! :-)

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