Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Indecisive (20/31)



                                                              Split     
                                                                                               Splat
                                              Pitter
                                                                            Patter

Nothing

Splitter
      Splatter
           Pitterer
                   Patterer
Sprinkle. Sprinkle. Sprinkle

Nothing.

Indecisive rain
Can't make up
It's mind

Hang the clothes up
Take the clothes down
Let Chloe out
Bring Chloe in
Open windows
Close windows

                                                            Split
                                                                                                  Splat
                                        Pitter
                                                                           Patter

Nothing

15 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. What a wonderful poem! Love the stanza about hanging the clothes up/taking the clothes down/... such a teeter totter kind of day. I also love the form of the poem with the spattering of words like the spattering of rain. May I use it for a mentor text?

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  3. Fun play with words. I've been realizing how much this word play with poetry makes me happy. I just HAD to read your poem out loud. It's even more fun this way. :)

    I highly recommend EVERYONE read this one aloud.

    Ruth

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  4. I just followed Ruth's advice and did. I love the way those last few lines made my eyes dance around the page!

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  5. Wonderful play. I can hear the rain and see you and Chloe dance to its music. Glad you had a good place to publish and share your creation.

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  6. I love the way your words "splat" on the page like random raindrops. You captured the feeling of "on-and-off-again" rain perfectly! I like the fact that you were determined to write a poem about the spring rain, and you did so even though it wasn't the kind of rain you had imagined!

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  7. Enjoyed how you organized the words on the page and the repetition of the sound phrases!

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  8. What can I say, cool! You rock!

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  9. Your poem reflects the weather here today too. (Love the phrase indecisive rain.) I felt those words were coming as a result of the weather we had here today too. The weather just can't seem to make up its mind, can it?

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  10. Love the visual image of this poem and how the words are spread out like uneven and indecisive spots of rain. You are so creative, Deb!

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  11. Ruth is right! This sounds like a children's book. It is so fun to get to the "nothing" at the end of the onomatopoeia. This indecisive rain is what I like least about spring.

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  12. I took Ruth's advice and I read the poem out loud. Fabulous. I liked the way the poem looked on the page. It looks like rain bouncing too and fro on our sidewalks and driveways. It sounded like rain with its split, splat, pitter, patter. Refreshing.

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  13. I want to get my high school kids back writing poems that make use of space on the page. Thanks for the inspiration, Deb! :)

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