Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The Unwritten Vow

It wasn't part of our wedding vows, but it should have been.

I dealt with poopy diapers and poop in the yard.  I dealt with puking kids and puking animals. I kept turtles and frogs and fish in the house when everyone knows those creatures live in the wild (I drew the line at snakes). I killed my share of spiders and other creepy crawlies.

BUT

I will not deal with mice and dead critters.  That's his job. (I'm sure it's written in a husband handbook somewhere.) And it is a hard and fast rule in our house (It tops my No gifts with cords rule).

So when I saw the tell-tale signs of a mouse in the house, I followed the rule and told my husband about it.

"Oh, no. Are you sure?" 

Am I sure? Really? As I am taking all the dish towels out of the drawer and washing them (I'd really like to throw them all and get new ones, but that may be a little extreme), he asks me if I'm sure.

I give him "the look".

"OK. I'll get something tomorrow."

The next night he came home with glue traps. GLUE TRAPS.  The mouse runs across them and gets stuck to the trap. He, of course, talked to people all day about what to use.

"These work great," he proclaims.

"Fine," I answer. "But I will NOT be touching those things after I put them out.  That's your job."

He chuckles. "I know."

A couple of days go by. No signs of anything. Of course, it has warmed up outside. The critters don't need to come in and get warm. Each day I take a peek inside the cupboard under the sink and the towel(less) drawer.

And then it happens.

I peek in the drawer and there it is. A mouse stuck to the trap. I'm sure I looked and sounded like a cartoon character.

"Oooo, oo, oo.  Greeeeggggg.  There's a mouse in the drawer.

"Are you sure?"

Really? Again with the are you sure?  Just because I'm running from a mouse stuck in a glue trap, you question what I saw?

He laughs as he walks to the kitchen (shouldn't he be running to save me?). Opens the drawer. Yep, there's a mouse in there.  He grabs a plastic bag.

"Well, come out here and hold the sack and help me."

Really? I have a serious case of the heebie-jeebies and he wants me to hold the sack.

I don't think so.

"No. I told you when you bought the damn glue traps that I would have nothing to do with this. I will not hold the sack."

He laughs at me again.

"Come on. Just hold the sack.You don't have to touch it or anything. I'll pull out the drawer and dump it in."

See, he's not too fond of this either.

"Oh, I think it's still alive. Maybe I'll get it tomorrow."

Yeah. And I won't be helping you then, either.

Enjoy more Slice of Life stories at Two Writing Teachers!










14 comments:

  1. OH my gosh I could have written this as I feel the exact same way. When I was single, my roommate and I had a mouse in our apt. guess what we did? We slept in a hotel until a friend rid the apt. of that horrible thing. Stay strong Deb, no helping it is "their" job!

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  2. You have given me such a laugh with this tale today! So I'm guessing that the mouse did die a slow death in the drawer? Any relatives come looking for their friend? Who thinks a glue strip is a good idea?

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  3. Oh, I laughed out loud on this one! And the rules are the same here...though spiders and wasps are his also...along with bats.
    Oh, and gluing mice is never a good idea, in my mind.

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  4. Oh my, did the poor little thing stay in there? These are the perils of cold weather. So far, no mice for me, but we do get them, too. I think this is funny, but when you have to deal with it, not so much, Deb. Hope this is the end!

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  5. I can relate to your feelings. The mere mention of mice or rats sends shivers down my spine. I admire how you were able to turn this into such a funny slice. A good laugh lengthens a life.

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  6. I laughed out loud as a read this! Our rule is a little different. I take care of all blood or broken bone related issues and he takes care of all puking issues. The mouse is kind of like puke to me...I run away screaming...or something like that. Ew.

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  7. Oh, I just laughed so hard reading this...and we have the same rule in our marriage rule book as well.

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  8. Oh, this was too funny Deb! This is in the unwritten rules. It just creeps me out to know there are mice in our house too. We've used both the sticky traps and the real-deal-one-snap-and-you're-dead traps. Go with the latter -- we had one mouse stuck, thought he was still alive so we let him die in peace -- next time we checked, he had escaped! Aggh!! However, just yesterday, my hubby noticed that it's been awhile since we "got" one. He checked the trap only to find that the little stinker was able to eat all the peanut butter without a snap! Grrr! My hubby was on a mission. Poor little guy was gone this morning. Thank goodness!

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  9. Oh what a wonderful tale. In my house, I am the big, strong mouser and the husband does the bats! We all have our "jobs" and roles in a successful marriage as you note!

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  10. I'd really like to throw them all and get new ones, but that may be a little extreme---oh yes I can so understand!

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  11. Takes me back to the spider in the motel bathroom story! It was as big as my hand. It was just me, my teenaged niece, and my two little kids. I made her kill the spider! And she still laughs about it. We had some puke on that trip too. I dealt with it!

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  12. Great slice and how I can relate - yes, it's hubby job to take care of those critters. We did put out one of those sticky things (supposedly out of the way), but somehow our cat got it stuck on his back leg and went running thru the house in the wee hours of the morning making this clap, clap sound up and down the stairs. No more sticky one for us!

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  13. Deb,
    I missed this before. I just read it aloud to Andy and there are tears because I'm laughing so hard. I WISH I could write humor like you do. It may just be a mentor text for me.

    I HATE sticky traps, but was informed by the mouse department that unless I want to be involved with setting and removing traps, then I don't have a say. The worse part is when you can hear the mouse squeaking.

    So on Tuesday morning, I entered the kitchen to see a mouse scurrying around with one of those damn traps stuck to its butt.

    I think I'm scarred for life.

    And yes, we are two peas in a pod. :)
    Ruth

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  14. Came over from Ruth's place and am laughing. I wish I had someone brave at my house. My boys' idea of helping is to tell their brave mother. Because I. AM. BRAVE. BUT I. AM. NEVER. NOT. EVER. TOUCHING. ONE. OF. THOSE. GLUE. TRAPS. Even if I do have to call the exterminator and pay a ridiculous amount to have someone else come to deal with it.

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