Going back to school and subbing this winter has been good for me. Truth be told, I get a little bored once in a while, and getting back in the classroom is fun (and a lot less work than teaching full time). I love seeing my kids again and meeting some new ones. I get to see all my friends and catch up on all the school gossip.
But I miss my room.
The physical space is there, but the life I knew in it is gone. When it was mine, you knew when you walked in that reading and writing were important in that room. You knew by peeking in that students and their voice were valued. There was life in that room. Pods of kids were always about living, breathing, and learning.
There are no signs pointing the way to Oz or threatening with flying monkeys.
There are no speech folders cluttering the counters waiting to be put away.
There are no books in the basket resting until a new reader finds it.
There are no books.
It's a Spanish room now and I'm sure learning still happens. It just doesn't seem to have the vibrancy it once did. Or maybe, it's just my memories overshadow the reality.
There should still be books! So much rich culture to explore while learning a language! But no matter what, it would still be at least a little hard to see your room looking different.
ReplyDeleteThis made my heart ache as I look into the near future of retirement.
ReplyDeleteWell-written and beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteIt is sooooo hard to go back. Try to remember the life and love of literacy that you built there. I'm sure your students do!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh - this is so hard, isn't it? We make our rooms such homes... then when they aren't ours, it's just... hard! One year I was on half time leave and my room became a spanish room... and I remember crying! Now, I was also pregnant at the time... but it still feels like such an emotional thing! I'm glad you have such wonderful memories of your room!
ReplyDeleteOh how you draw out the contrasts! It would hurt my heart a little to have to go back to a room without books. Even though you miss your room it sounds like such a good thing to be able to go back as a substitute and reconnect and catch up.
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful slice. I am going back to teaching and looking forward to my own room.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are going back as substitute teacher and keep educating the kids.
Oh Deb, I can identify with this post. I was fortunate that someone moved into my room (another ELA teacher) who loved books. Most of my book collection went to another ELA teacher I had mentored so I was equally at home in both rooms when I subbed. It is so fun to see the students you once taught. I've been gone long enough that there is no one at the middle school who knows me anymore (other than my book club friends and staff). Happy transition year!
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