I removed a student from my room. Not that the removal wasn't warranted in most cases.
But I know this kid. Know him well. I know that when the insubordinate, defiant voice comes out he is hurting. I know something happened in his world that added a few more bricks to his wall.
I intended to find him a quiet spot where he could be alone, but one sentence changed all that.
"Good. I need to meet the new principal anyway."
Fine I thought Let me introduce you.
That was my failure. I let him goad me into something I had no intention of doing. He pushed a button and I reacted.
And it wasn't what he needed.
He needed a spot away from others to nurse whatever wounds had been opened. He needed me to understand, to be a sounding board, to be a safe place.
I had one job today and I failed.
And the fact that you see this as your failure is exactly what makes you such an incredible educator. You move minds, you change lives. Your "failure" today only means you will work that much harder to be this kid's champion next time. That matters. That is no failure. Be gentle with yourself. I love your words.
ReplyDeleteWe aren't perfect everyday and our students need to know how we handle things when we feel we have failed them or ourselves. That is one of the best lessons we can teach - how to get back up and be stronger than before. How do we admit our failures and how do we right our wrongs?
ReplyDeleteYou were not necessarily wrong - maybe the best place for him was meeting the new principal who had words he needed to hear. Maybe this one moment will open lines of communication that were not there before and make an even more positive difference in this kid's life. Give this time because sometimes what we see as a wrong was actually an accidental right!
You are awesome!
We aren't perfect everyday and our students need to know how we handle things when we feel we have failed them or ourselves. That is one of the best lessons we can teach - how to get back up and be stronger than before. How do we admit our failures and how do we right our wrongs?
ReplyDeleteYou were not necessarily wrong - maybe the best place for him was meeting the new principal who had words he needed to hear. Maybe this one moment will open lines of communication that were not there before and make an even more positive difference in this kid's life. Give this time because sometimes what we see as a wrong was actually an accidental right!
You are awesome!